remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize