If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
