I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
