I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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