Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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