i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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