If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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