i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You're earring is so big in my mouth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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