At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
