I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize