they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
