the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize