just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
