The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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