one two three fourrrrnication!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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