..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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