Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You made out with two different species that night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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