Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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