she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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