As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
