Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
