The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
someone owes me an orgasm
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
