If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize