So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
