I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize