Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
