i already hear my dad disowning me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Couch. On fire.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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