2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize