He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
