woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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