How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
