You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
