I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
