Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
try to milk me bitch
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
