You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's always time for handjobs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
