If i come over, it means nothing
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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