Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
and you fell through a lawn chair
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
