I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
