It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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