Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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