She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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