I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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