The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this boner is exhausting
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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