a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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