It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
