Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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