i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
