why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I forget how to act sober
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
