I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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