I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
