If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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