alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
