he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
