I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sext me about skeletons
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
