Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
