She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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