everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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