ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
