OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
