i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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