I don't think brook has ever known best
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
