I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
