why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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