i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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